Year: 2020

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Cedar stacks could be fence posts, perhaps

I’m already thinking about the fence.

Yes, I have a ton (pun intended) of stone work ahead, and still more digging and planting, and weeding. So, I’m not sure yet exactly when is the best time to move to the fence. But I’m thinking about the design.

There are a few sketches floating around in my head and on various pieces of paper. I’m leaning toward something kind of unconventional that will help to define the space, and also provide visual interest (thinking of the Sunny Garden as an extension of the studio).

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1jA9nyjy2sykPe2SeIh0MFWM-wMRdBgoc

It involves a vertical metal garden stake traveling through a hole drilled in the center of a lentil rock at ground level. Above the rock, sections of cedar with a hole drilled will be threaded onto the stake. Most of the cedar sections in the stack are short, but some are long enough to reach the next stack. Hence, fence.

What about the arbor? John was a great help in the garden today with his trusty loppers and the mower. And we realized that the mower doesn’t fit in the current footprint of the arbor. So, we’ll widen it just a few inches. Can the stacks extend eight feet high? Is there a metal stake of some sort that is, say, ten feet long? I need to consult Mr. Green Jeans.

Today was a busy day in the garden, and a hard day. I came home with an itchy rash after I spent most of the day on my hands and knees weeding and pulling roots, all while I was thinking about the fence, and about fences in general. We’re all functioning as if we are individually fenced. They call it “social distancing.”

This morning during morning prayers (it’s Monday) we talked about the pandemic. From now on, the paradigms of our lives will be pre-pandemic, pandemic, and post-pandemic. We will be forever changed, and we’re hoping for the better. As expressed by John, and I agree, there were many aspects of our society that were broken and are better left behind. I still find myself preoccupied wondering how bad it’s going to get, and for how long.

It’s like waiting for death.

And yet, I planted the tiniest of seeds a few days ago. And they’ve germinated already.

New life.

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=11Bm-LM9Ywa2icU3GwSMGzFfJzRQfsDO2
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Filling voids

I’m on my own today.

Maggie moved out of her room at WCU last week with Austin’s help. Today Mae moves out at UNCA. She’s allowed to bring one other person to assist her, and she has a three-hour window to pack up and move out. When she came home for spring break, she didn’t know that she would not be going back, per COVID19.

So, Reba and I headed up to work with the garden. John visited early in the day and commented on the frequency of my days in the garden lately.

“I’ve got a lot of time on my hands,” I replied. It’s a Thursday.

My wholesale business is “on hold” indefinitely. The venues to which I sell are all closed, deemed not essential. Suddenly I’m without income, and I’m left with questions about whether my work is “essential.” I always thought it was, believing that art elevates the soul, and that jewelry is an intimate art form in that it’s wearable and wrought with meaning for the wearer. Are those truths still true?

I’m ready for more stone work. But I decide to spend some time weeding in other areas to broaden my scope. I need time to think things through, when it comes to rocks, that is.

I have learned to think of the rock and the earth as concave and convex mirrors. And I’ve learned that soft red clay, which I often reach when I dig deep enough, is the perfect under layer for a stone that’s going to be walked on. I started out with slim stones, much wider than they are deep from the flat side. Turns out a stone with a flat side and a little more depth is much more ideal, more stable.

Digging deeper is causing some issues, bringing up stuff that I hadn’t planned to deal with. (Ha! Isn’t that how it goes. Should I start a list of garden metaphors for the contemplative life?) I have surplus red clay, and I have no idea what to do with it.

Until… I’m weeding on the east side when I notice a little tucked down area behind the main planting bed, just to the left of the arbor. I’m intrigued.

It would be an ideal place for meditation. There’s already what seems like a foot stone and a break in the stone wall. So, I set more stones to build a small retaining wall on the back side of the planting bed. And I kept weeding. Stoning. Weeding. And so on. And so forth.

The soil in the meditation space is rich. It’s on the downward slope from the entire garden, which years ago was graded and built up with fresh topsoil, and seeded as a lawn. There’s not much lawn left per se, but that topsoil is still there, much of it washed downhill from the main courtyard.

So, I’m thinking the thing to do is to 1) remove the topsoil from the meditation space and move it to the forthcoming center bed around the sculpture, 2) use the excess clay from the walkway to build up (level, with slight grade for drainage) the meditation space with a small retaining wall on the downside with the new fence line, and a stoned surface. That’s the order of operations as I understand it for now.

That, plus the plan to keep showing up to see what this garden has to teach me.

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Stone hunting – my new favorite sport

Jimmy went with me to explore the stone piles along the road, and we found a mesmerizing, mossy pile right by the big magnolia tree. Several of them, in fact.

We chose several large rocks, being sure not to too greatly diminish the appeal of the mesmerizing long pile. Back at the Sunny Garden, I tried to place them being mindful of placing the mossy side facing north when I could.

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1EfAwVxCL40CYZCZI0CcWGSxMG6Dse4_p

I am finding a new purpose in this work for me. Or maybe I’m just beginning to gain an awareness of why I was so curious about this forgone garden.

This morning we shared morning prayers in The Lodge instead of WoodSong so we could maintain “social distancing” per COVID19.

It was my turn to lead. We read the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 14:11-32), and then the introduction to Mirabai Starr’s chapter called “CoCreating” in Wild Mercy.

Order cancellations keep coming. 

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Studio Monday Change of Scope

I have enjoyed my new weekly rhythm since the winter markets.

After their annual retreat, John and Margaret asked about sharing morning prayers with us (Jimmy and me). We readily accepted, wanting more opportunities for community and for time at Cedar Cross. I moved one of my extra benches into the studio and planned to begin each week with CX Studio Monday. And, CX Mondays would begin with morning prayers. 

I also have a Sunny Garden sketchbook, and I’ll share those entries here from time to time. Here’s today’s:

It’s my “studio Monday” — I should be at my bench, but I’m fascinated with the stone pathway I’ve begun. That’s all I want to do. 

Orders are being cancelled. But I still have some. 

I continue with the work I began a few days earlier. Somehow I never, well,  not much, get time at the bench. I did cut a few slices of tubing.

It’s becoming apparent that the Sunny Garden is a gift for me. It’s a project that I can’t finish in a day, and, unlike a piece of jewelry, it is literally alive. It will continue to change and develop with the seasons and the passage of time.

At this point we are just getting to know each other. I have no idea what is planted where, and as things are sprouting I am continually curious to see what emerges.

John mentioned a while back that he always thought the courtyard needed a focal point – something in the center of the circle. Today I found one.

I used a wagon wheel hoop that was leaning against the studio building and some of the heaviest, chunkiest rocks in the stash to build a sculpture in the center. I was really just playing, but I do think there’s potential. 

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=13tv7V7_GCLBaq5oKQwg68Lpfwgy1HyPA

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Getting Started with Rakes and Rocks

We.

That’s how it began. 

The mission group at Cedar Cross heard my questions about the Sunny Garden and answered each one carefully. I began asking these questions months ago, and they became more frequent after my personal painting retreat last September. 

“Does anyone ever use the Sunny Garden?”

What’s the story with the arbor?”

“Have y’all seen that wasp’s nest in the studio door to the Sunny Garden?”

The mission group oversees the ministry of Cedar Cross Retreat Center. Monthly the mission group and other volunteers come together for a 24-hour retreat which includes working together to take on tasks that need attention. The task list is reviewed by the group, and each individual is invited to engage any task that they choose. 

The month prior I had deeply enjoyed working with Mac in the Moss Garden. Getting my hands in the earth felt so good – healing in a primal way. So, this time I asked if I could rake the leaves in the Sunny Garden left behind from last fall. And I also asked Margaret if she would show me what’s planted where to give me a better idea of the design concepts in play. 

Margaret and I walked to the Sunny Garden after morning prayers. She headed straight for some tiny peony sprouts, and then she pointed out some quince that was still blooming from the winter. And then, before you know it, we were yanking weeds and raking leaves. It felt like we were shedding a heavy winter coat on the first warm day. 

Butch came along with the leaf blower and the mower to mulch some of the leaves. Others pulled tarps full of leaves and pruned bushes. Vickie noticed a brick peeking up from the main center area. 

“Clean me off?”

So she did. I went to prepare lunch and was thrilled to come back to see an entire little brick patio uncovered, and a big bucket of delicious topsoil. 

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1CauZIpgH9jykNKbT8x-dLUv3MSQmHYms

That afternoon Butch helped me move three piles of surplus stones from the Moss Garden. With those available I decided to see if I could fill the pathway with set stones instead of the 12-inch tiles we had been using as pavers. 


As we worked I noticed the beautiful bones of the garden — the stone walls, the arbor, and even the fence that despite its dilapidated state still managed to define the space. So much intention and effort went into creating this space about sixteen years ago. I would love to see a photo of it then.

I am drawn to engage this garden. Cedar Cross is vast with many gardens and areas to tend. I have several favorite spots – Fernbrook, the Labyrinth, and Creekside. I’ve noticed that as time passes, my favorites shift and change. But never before have I wanted to go so deep in a space, to unearth it to see what it may teach me.

I began to envision stone pathways into the courtyard, butterflies and birds about, a mix of perennials and annuals and shrubs, a view into the woods, and tucked-in spots for pausing to ponder that could all work together to enrich the experiences of retreatants. 


Here we go. 

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=18Ok2YvdQOb4pFZ5aloYKe8epL_RAdJ2K
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Snow at Cedar Cross

A moment to pause
Glistening branches, reflected sunlight, and fresh snow are are among the many reasons to pause and reflect while walking on any of the four miles of trails at Cedar Cross Retreat Center. This scene shows the area near the North Pond.
 

Thank you for the paths and the signs and the love you’ve lavished on all of it. I felt so held by this space. Blessings! (from a recent retreatant)

Join us for A Guided Day Apart on Tuesday, March 10
Once a month, we provide a guided opportunity for folks to devote time in nature for rest, reflection, and renewal. The gathering for March is next Tuesday, the 10th. 

You are invited to come as an individual, or you may bring a friend or several friends. Of the 16 spaces, we have four that are still available. 

We’ll gather at 9:30 a.m. in the Lodge’s Community Room. We’ll begin with silence, introduce quotes of a spiritual writer, and then have quiet time to find a favorite chair or walk the trails. We’ll also have time to share our reflections, if we choose to do so. We conclude at 3 p.m. with Communion. 

Jimmy Allen is leading this session. The writer whose work we’ll use is Ronald Rolheiser, the author of “The Holy Longing: The Search for A Christian Spirituality.” Advanced reading is not necessary.

If you would like to participate, please contact Jimmy, the coordinator, at 919-729-2586 or cedarcrossregistrar@gmail.com. The suggested donation is $20. Please bring a lunch. Drinks will be provided. 

A Guided Day Apart is typically, but not always, on the second Tuesday of the month. The gathering for next month is April 14.
The intricate lines of a beech-tree leaf show in a gentle, winter rain. Beech trees, like other marcescent trees, hold on to their leaves until spring. Arborists have several theories why this is so. One of those theories is that the leaves will actually be used as mulch when needed instead of being blown by winter winds. Cedar Cross has several beech trees of various sizes throughout the 52 acres.
Meet the People of Cedar Cross – Margaret Hilpert

I grew up in a small town on a dead-end street bordered with woods, and playing in those woods was a cherished part of my childhood.
The wagon path at the end of the street was easy to follow, the soft pine straw was easy to gather up to make pretend walls for my make-believe house, and swinging on a braided wire “rope” over the creek at the bottom of what seemed then like a deep ravine was exciting.
Taking my dolls in an old baby carriage for graham cracker picnics, finding old cobalt blue Milk of Magnesia bottles half-buried in old trash, the freedom to explore coupled with the safety of being within hearing distance of my mother’s summons to dinner, somehow all this contributed to the immediate joy I felt when John first brought me up to what was then called “the land.”
I had no idea then that this bit of wooded countryside would become my home, and that I would get to name it Cedar Cross. Now I have the joy of exploring and cherishing, playing and sharing here within the freedom and hearing distance of God’s love and beauty.
— Margaret Hilpert


Mission of Cedar Cross: Rest, Reflection, and Renewal

We provide overnight and day-retreat space for small groups (up to 16 participants) and individual retreatants. Individuals, couples, and friends are invited to stay in Heron’s Nest, which is a two-bedroom cottage, or in one of the three suites of the Lodge. For more information, please contact the coordinator, Jimmy Allen, at 919-729-2586, or at cedarcrossregistrar@gmail.com. More information is available on our web site: cedarcrossretreat.org. We look forward to hosting you.
 Mission Group members who oversee the ministry of Cedar Cross
Butch Grove, Vickie Grove, Mac Hulslander, Margaret Hilpert, John Hilpert, Lillie Jones, Ginger Allen, and Jimmy Allen

Specific roles at Cedar Cross
John Hilpert and Margaret Hilpert, founders and back-up hosts
Jimmy Allen, coordinator
Lillie Jones, gleaner
Rachel Allen, caretaker for indoor spaces
David Jerose, caretaker for outdoor spaces
Boomer Alston, caretaker for outdoor spaces
Lori Litton, bookkeeper
Linda Lamb, caterer

Covenant Community Church supports this retreat center through the Cedar Cross Mission Group.  We are a small ecumenical church offering a participatory form of worship that invites lively involvement by all members. We worship Sunday afternoons in Raleigh at the Community United Church of Christ (corner of Wade Avenue and Dixie Trail).

The mission group, which is a subset of the Covenant Community membership, meets monthly at the retreat center for a day of work, prayer, play, planning, and being with friends.

Giving
We are grateful to all who support the ministry of Cedar Cross Retreat Center. If you believe in providing a place for people to experience rest, reflection, and renewal, please consider giving a donation.

You can give online at www.cedarcrossretreat.info/donate/ or send a check to Cedar Cross Retreat Center, 150 Cedar Cross Way, Louisburg, NC 27549. 
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Reflections on the stillness of Cedar Cross

A hike on the four miles of trails at Cedar Cross Retreat Center reveals numerous details that can be a tool to help us be still and admire the beauty of God’s creation. A flowering quinces showers the grays of winter with red petals and yellow pistil. Soft rain drops hold onto the needles of a cedar tree, and the branches of hardwoods provide contrast to the flowing clouds and blue sky. 

An insight offered while at Cedar Cross

While meandering recently along the trails at Cedar Cross Retreat Center, I was drawn to a sign pointing to Spirit Pond.  The attraction was no surprise, as I am naturally lured to water however and wherever it might appear. 

Following the arrow, I headed toward the pond but came to a stop just a few yards short of the water.  There to my left was something that told me right away the pond sign had been only a teaser to lead me to this something.  It was a tree, partially uprooted and leaning, but still showing signs of life.   The catcher was that almost 10 years prior to that very day, I had encountered a similar image in a photograph.

I can pinpoint the date because it coincided with a troubled time in my life which had prompted me to register for a directed group retreat.  At the beginning of the retreat experience, the leader had invited us to peruse a collection of photographs and select one that demonstrated our reality in that moment.  When I came upon the photo of the fragile tree, there was instant connection to the state of my life.  With some roots securely planted and others exposed and raw from life events, I saw myself as the tree, leaning and in danger of falling.  It was a defining but frightening, heavy image for me.

The retreat experience had been a turning point and had set me on a track toward new life, a deeper spiritual journey of accepting and responding to reality and coming to know both myself and God more truly.  The journey has continued in a profoundly transformative way.

So it is that when I encountered the tree at Cedar Cross, the connection to the image was immediate but the identification was drastically different.  There was the realization that being uprooted can be a positive and sometimes necessary experience, that roots exposed have been set free for new winds and ways, and that a vulnerable posture of leaning defines perhaps more accurately our status as mortals.  It was as if I had encountered an old friend that had walked with me for 10 years and had participated in a miraculous process.   Far from frightening, the tree depicted freedom and joy.

An image in nature that catches our attention is an invitation to pause and reflect.  As we are able to be present and open, we often find that the image will reveal something more of ourselves and lead us beyond ourselves.

— Mary Catherine Harris 
One of the newly renovated benches waits for a retreatant to be still. About 50 benches and chairs are placed throughout the 52 acres. This bench is along the Old Beech Trail.

“Thank you so much for opening your house to us. Your love of these woods, and God, comes through on every trail.

from a recent retreatant

Join us for A Guided Day Apart on Tuesday, Feb. 18

Once a month, we provide a guided opportunity for folks to devote time in nature for rest, reflection, and renewal. The gathering for February is next Tuesday, the 18th. 

You are welcome to come as an individual, or you can bring a friend or several friends. 

We’ll gather at 9:30 a.m. in the Lodge’s Community Room. We’ll begin with silence, introduce quotes of a spiritual writer, and then have quiet time to find a favorite chair or walk the trails. We’ll also have time to share our reflections, if we choose to do so. We conclude at 3 p.m. with Communion. 

Margaret Hilpert is leading this session. The writer whose work we’ll use is Wendell Berry. 

If you would like to participate, please contact us. The suggested donation is $20. Please bring a lunch. Drinks will be provided. 

A Guided Day Apart is typically, but not always, on the second Tuesday of the month. The gathering for next month is March 10th.
The WellSpring Suite in the Lodge is newly renovated after a few workdays by the staff and a group effort during January’s  Community Day. The Lodge has three suites for overnight stays, and each suite has a large room with 3-4 beds, a smaller room with one bed, and a full bathroom. Cedar Cross is set up for small groups (up to 16) and individual use.
Volunteers are invited to join with us at the next Community Day on Feb. 28-29. Please contact us for more information.

The Way of Jesus – Being Reborn (station # 14)

“Lo, I am with you always” is a promise of Jesus. What might it mean for you to lean into that promise? What losses have you been able to mourn and let go? Where are you finding new sources of life and blessing?

(The Way of Jesus is 14 stations in the woods just north of the Lodge at Cedar Cross. Retreatants are given questions for reflection at each station.)