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Cedar Cross Journeys

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A retrospect of autumn at Cedar Cross


Look, I want to love this world
as though it’s the last chance I’m ever going to get
to be alive
and know it.

 — Mary Oliver (from October)

These images give a sample of God’s creation at Cedar Cross Retreat Center in the fall. Pictured are the following: … the underside of a yellow lily in contrast to red maple leaves and a blue sky; … fish dancing in the goldfish pond; … a camellia bloom on the dining room table of the Lodge; … a form of fungi called trametes showing its intricate patterns on a tree stump on the Village Green; … and mums growing in the Sunny Garden behind the Art Studio. 

A place where we can be with ourselves and God

“Speaking from personal experience and my many years in Lenten hermitage (where I stayed in one small place for the forty days of Lent), I found a deep inner liberation in ‘giving up’ my freedom to come and go as I chose. I am experiencing some of that same freedom in my hermit-like life necessitated by the pandemic. I cannot ‘fill’ my life or myself up with outside experiences; I must simply ‘be’ with myself and God.” 
— Richard Rohr, Daily Meditation, December 19, 2020

The mission of Cedar Cross is to provide a place for rest, reflection, and renewal. To use Rohr’s words, we could describe our mission as a way to provide a place where retreatants can be with ourselves and God. 

When we rest, we are preparing ourselves to listen. 

When we reflect, we are opening ourselves to whom we really are.  

When we are renewed, we are given an opportunity to live with hope and gratitude. 

Of course, Cedar Cross doesn’t do any of this. We simply seek to provide a place that is conducive for the three R’s to occur. We do that in many ways, including quiet places to sit along the four miles of trails through woods and across fields. 

During the pandemic, we are still welcoming retreatants for rest, reflection, and renewal. Individuals, couples, families, and small groups up to four people (with one person or couple staying in Heron’s Nest and each of the three suites in the Lodge) are invited.

If you want to schedule a retreat or want more information, just click on the button below, give us a call at 919-729-2586, or send an email to cedarcrossregistrar@gmail.com. 

We look forward to welcoming you!
 

— Jimmy Allen, coordinator
 

Click here to contact us and schedule your next retreat

A view from the trail


A tiger swallowtail butterfly is nourished by the blossoms of a lantana near the trail leading to the Way of Jesus. In ancient Greek, the term for butterfly was “psyche,” which also means spirit or breath, as in the animating life form in humans and other animals. (U.S. Forest Service web site: https://www.fs.fed.us/wildflowers/pollinators/pollinator-of-the-month/TigerSwallowtail.shtml

Words from a retreatant …
 

“Thank you, Covenant Community, John, Margaret, and Jimmy, for this beautiful and much-needed ministry during this pandemic!

“I can imagine that this is a difficult time, perhaps, to ‘keep the lights on’ out here, because of greatly reduced capacity to have retreatants. That said, I pray you will flourish because this is not ‘optional’ — we need this! 

“The beauty and steadfastness of your work blows me away every time I am blessed to visit! Thanks be to God for your faithfulness! (We) benefited so much staying in this awesome cottage this weekend. Amen and amen!”

The gift of retreat

If you know someone who would benefit from a retreat at Cedar Cross, consider giving them a gift card. The suggested donation for an individual on retreat is $75 per night, or $50 each for two or more. Just send an email to cedarcrossregistrar@gmail.com. We’ll send an invoice to give electronically or you can send a check to Cedar Cross Retreat Center, 150 Cedar Cross Way, Louisburg, NC 27549. Depending on what you want, we’ll send a gift card via mail or send you a gift letter electronically that you can print out. 

A walk toward the North Pond



To give a sense of life at Cedar Cross in late autumn, you’re invited to join in a walk along a section of the Loop Trail from the Way of Jesus to the North Pond. Here is the link:
https://www.cedarcrossretreat.info/2020/12/19/autumn-walk/
 

Getting to know the Mission Group of Cedar Cross 

Note: We consider everyone who participates in a retreat here, prays for this ministry, volunteers to help, and/or offers financial support to be a part of Cedar Cross Retreat Center. In addition to the hundreds who are part of the Cedar Cross community, we have a Mission Group that oversees the ministry. This section is intended to give us all a little insight about these folks. The names of Mission Group members is listed at the base of each edition.

In this edition of Journeys, John Hilpert responds to a prompt to tell us a little about yourself. 

A word from John Hilpert 

For 45 years, a good day at Cedar Cross was when Margaret and I would work out in the woods together.  A great day was when we built a new trail or created a sacred space along the way.

The Ridge Trail appeared by going off the driveway just to push down a dead tree, and then wondering what was just ahead.  The Oak and Holly Trail taught me a key lesson.  I was trying to connect what was to become the Village Green to Creekside, and was forcing my way through thick prickly holly trees.  Exhausted, I sat down.  Finally looking up and to my right, I saw a hint of an opening, and a pleasant trail emerged.  Not only did I learn about building a trail, this was a key insight for professional work and spiritual development. 

Our four miles of trails developed in response to a general need, but enhanced by a willingness to let the land speak.  The Mission Group wisely set a limit on building new trails since they all have to be maintained.  I’ve obeyed – sort of.  A trail blazer has to do what a guy has to do.  So there are other trails I’ve had fun creating, but these were not put on the map and are last to be maintained.

While I was tackling three careers, my first 25 years here focused on transforming a badly abused and neglected tract into a healthy forest.  For the last 20 years, a lot of a fourth career was devoted to coordinating with Margaret a retreat ministry.  Most of this was enjoyable though parts felt like work.  Now that Jimmy has taken over operational responsibility and I only help out now and then, I am returning to my first love of being a forest steward.  I do want the record to note that the new trail being cut out along the north side of the creek flowing out of North Pond was strictly Jimmy’s idea.  The fact that we had a ball and played off each other’s leadings is totally incidental. 
 
 



Mission of Cedar Cross: Rest, Reflection, and Renewal

We provide overnight and day-retreat space for small groups (up to 16 participants) and individual retreatants. Individuals, couples, and friends are invited to stay in Heron’s Nest, which is a two-bedroom cottage, or in one of the three suites of the Lodge. For more information, please contact the coordinator, Jimmy Allen, at 919-729-2586, or at cedarcrossregistrar@gmail.com. More information is available on our web site: cedarcrossretreat.info. We look forward to hosting you.
 

Mission Group members who oversee the ministry of Cedar Cross
Butch Grove, Vickie Grove, Mac Hulslander, Margaret Hilpert, John Hilpert, Lillie Jones, Ginger Allen, and Jimmy Allen

Specific roles at Cedar Cross
John Hilpert and Margaret Hilpert, founders and back-up hosts
Jimmy Allen, coordinator
Lillie Jones, gleaner
Mitch Mitchell and David Jerose, caretakers for outdoor spaces
Lori Litton, bookkeeper
Linda Lamb, caterer

Covenant Community Church supports this retreat center through the Cedar Cross Mission Group.  We are a small ecumenical church offering a participatory form of worship that invites lively involvement by all members. We worship Sunday afternoons in Raleigh at the Community United Church of Christ (corner of Wade Avenue and Dixie Trail). During the pandemic the community gathers virtually. If you would like more information, please send an email to cedarcrossregistrar@gmail.com.

The mission group, which is a subset of the Covenant Community membership, typically meets monthly at the retreat center for a day of work, prayer, play, planning, and being with friends. During the pandemic, those meetings have been virtual, although we have had a couple socially-distanced work days.

Giving
We are grateful to all who support the ministry of Cedar Cross Retreat Center. If you believe in providing a place for people to experience rest, reflection, and renewal, please consider giving a donation.

You can give securely online at www.cedarcrossretreat.info/donate/ or click on the donate button below. Or send a check to Cedar Cross Retreat Center, 150 Cedar Cross Way, Louisburg, NC 27549. 
 

Donate

Cedar Cross on Facebook

Cedar Cross Website

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A Message from Cedar Cross Retreat Center

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A message from Cedar Cross

Dear Friends and Supporters,

Perhaps this letter finds you, like us, overwhelmed by the issues we all face, but we want to let you know that our commitments, actions, and hope are alive. Cedar Cross Retreat Center is continuing to welcome retreatants to a much needed place of rest, reflection, and renewal for the soul and spirit.

Although the retreat center is a place apart, we have not been totally insulated from the events of 2020. Our retreat numbers, and thus our income, are significantly down for the year. Typically, much of our revenue comes from large group retreats, which are not happening because of the virus. Instead, we are seeing more individuals and couples seeking essential periods of quiet listening and discernment, as well as families and small groups (four or fewer) who are realizing the benefits of time away. We continue to reduce our expenses, while also increasing our cleaning and sanitation efforts to ensure a safe environment for all who come.

Retreatants continue to tell us that being on retreat here nourishes them in many ways, perhaps in spiritual direction, opportunities for creative exploration, the beauty of nature, or the spaciousness to clarify future action. They bless us with their stories and a gratitude that we share with you.

With this annual letter, we come to you in this challenging year earnestly inviting you to prayerfully consider making a financial contribution to the ongoing mission of Cedar Cross. We rely on your generosity. We hope you will also consider scheduling some retreat time for yourselves to enjoy the benefits you help to support.
 

In peace and thankfulness,

The Cedar Cross Mission Group
John Hilpert, Margaret Hilpert, Mac Hulslander, Lillie R. Jones,
Butch Grove, Vickie Grove, Ginger M. Allen, Jimmy W. Allen

 

Donate

Click here to contact us and schedule your next retreat



Mission of Cedar Cross: Rest, Reflection, and Renewal

We provide overnight and day-retreat space for small groups (up to 16 participants) and individual retreatants. Individuals, couples, and friends are invited to stay in Heron’s Nest, which is a two-bedroom cottage, or in one of the three suites of the Lodge. For more information, please contact the coordinator, Jimmy Allen, at 919-729-2586, or at cedarcrossregistrar@gmail.com. More information is available on our web site: cedarcrossretreat.info. We look forward to hosting you.
 

Mission Group members who oversee the ministry of Cedar Cross
Butch Grove, Vickie Grove, Mac Hulslander, Margaret Hilpert, John Hilpert, Lillie Jones, Ginger Allen, and Jimmy Allen

Specific roles at Cedar Cross
John Hilpert and Margaret Hilpert, founders and back-up hosts
Jimmy Allen, coordinator
Lillie Jones, gleaner
Mitch Mitchell, caretaker for outdoor spaces
David Jerose, caretaker for outdoor spaces
Lori Litton, bookkeeper
Linda Lamb, caterer

Covenant Community Church supports this retreat center through the Cedar Cross Mission Group.  We are a small ecumenical church offering a participatory form of worship that invites lively involvement by all members. We worship Sunday afternoons in Raleigh at the Community United Church of Christ (corner of Wade Avenue and Dixie Trail). During the pandemic the community gathers virtually.

The mission group, which is a subset of the Covenant Community membership, typically meets monthly at the retreat center for a day of work, prayer, play, planning, and being with friends.

Giving
We are grateful to all who support the ministry of Cedar Cross Retreat Center. If you believe in providing a place for people to experience rest, reflection, and renewal, please consider giving a donation.

You can give securely online at www.cedarcrossretreat.info/donate/ or click on the donate button below. Or send a check to Cedar Cross Retreat Center, 150 Cedar Cross Way, Louisburg, NC 27549. 
 

Donate

Cedar Cross on Facebook

Cedar Cross Website

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Summer at Cedar Cross Retreat Center

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Summer Green


Rise up from the stump of sorrow, and be green also,
like the diligent leaves.
— Mary Oliver
 

The diligent leaves of green in summer abound in this view from the back deck of the Lodge. Colors range from the dark hues of holly leaves to the brighter tones of red buds. Noticing the details of color in nature is one of the many ways retreatants at Cedar Cross Retreat Center are able to experience rest from the busyness and, sometimes, chaos of the world.

New opportunities for retreats 

The novel coronavirus pandemic is affecting all people to varying  degrees, including Cedar Cross. Yet, like many others, we are learning something new about our ministry of providing a place of rest, reflection, and renewal.

We are noticing two new ways for people to experience a time of retreat.

One of those is a small group of friends. A group of four can come on retreat with each having his/her living area (bed, sitting area, and full bathroom). When the group wants to gather, they can keep six feet apart in the Community Room. 

The other is adults introducing their children and grandchildren to being on a retreat. One of our Mission Group members, Mac Hulslander, and his wife, Peg, brought their teenage grandchildren to Cedar Cross. You can read his reflection about that experience below. Of course, we still welcome individuals and couples for retreats as well.

If you want to talk about possibilities of being on retreat, you can send an email to me at cedarcrossregistrar@gmail.com or call me at 919-729-2586.

As the psalmist shared: “Be still and know that I am God.”
 

— Jimmy Allen, coordinator
 

A family’s experience together at Cedar Cross

The Chinese character for “crisis” incorporates the meanings of both “danger” and “opportunity.” Such are the times we are all experiencing.

We here at Cedar Cross Retreat Center are seeking various ways by which to respond to the challenges presented by the pandemic. While our purpose of providing a safe space for rest, relaxation and renewal has largely focused on individual/couple/group retreatants (read “adult”), my wife and I recently successfully extricated our 13 and 15-year old grand-daughters from their phones, homes, and TV shows for experiencing a four-day “mini” retreat at Cedar Cross for fun and familial bonding.

It was a great experience!

Whether spending our time playing horseshoes, walking the trails, sharing chance (but poignant) conversations over meals, delighting over a box turtle’s visit or composing poems by candlelight, the days we shared together were delightfully full and pleasurable. (One clue to which is their strong desire to return!)

I write this simply as a way of planting a seed on how a family (or even one with very close friends) could also provide for restful and renewing experiences for “such a time as this.”

And, it also is a real help with keeping the Center operative when our income flow has been drastically reduced. Please give this possibility some thought for an upcoming summer activity and approach Jimmy about scheduling your own or family get-away for re-creative and restorative ways of “sheltering” in a beautiful, serene, and inviting sanctuary.
 

— Mac Hulslander

A view from the trail


A single yellow lily rises from the greenery next to a stone walkway being built in the Sunny Garden behind the art studio. 

Words from a retreatant …

“Thank you! I am grateful for this lovely place of rest, renewal, and reflection. The thoughtful accessibility touches such as an entry ramp, door levers, and a broad vegetable peeler for my arthritic hands were much appreciated — “a problem-free philosophy,” as the meerkat in Lion King says. I hope I can return here regularly and bring others to share its benefits. Thanks again!

Land of mushrooms


The colors of summer aren’t limited to yellow flowers, green leaves, and blue skies. Throughout the 52 acres of the mostly-wooded retreat center, retreatants can discover a wide variety of mushrooms. Scientists estimate the earth has 1.5 million species of fungi. Less than five percent have been identified.  According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, these fungi serve several purposes in forest ecosystems, including decompostion, nutrient cycling, and biological control of other fungi. Fungi also provide food for wildlife, and the decay they cause in living trees is beneficial to many birds and mammals. From a spiritual perspective, mushrooms also provide an opportunity for people to admire the beauty of creation. 

Listening to a summer rain



To give you more of a sense of what life is like at Cedar Cross, we are including a 30-second video in each edition of Journeys. In the last edition, we took a virtual walk along the Middle Trail. In this edition, you are invited to click the link below and listen to the sound of summer rain on the trees near the Lodge. Here is the link:
https://www.cedarcrossretreat.info/2020/08/07/summer-rain/

 

Click here to contact us and schedule your next retreat

Getting to know the Mission Group of Cedar Cross 

Note: We consider everyone who participates in a retreat here, prays for this ministry, volunteers to help, and/or offers financial support to be a part of Cedar Cross Retreat Center. In addition to the hundreds who are part of the Cedar Cross community, we have a Mission Group that oversees the ministry. This section is intended to give us all a little insight about these folks. The names of Mission Group members is listed at the base of each edition.

In this edition of Journeys, Lillie Jones responds to the prompt of how she got involved with Cedar Cross.


Lillie Jones, left, joins Margaret Hilpert in giving the screen porch a deep cleaning earlier this summer. Lillie’s deep love for Cedar Cross and its mission shows in various ways, including her bright smile and gift for hospitality.

A word from Lillie Jones

My journey with Cedar Cross began through my involvement with Covenant Community Church. One of the members was my respected and esteemed friend, Mac Hulslander. Through that, I became involved in developing the retreat center. I remember the first time I drove down the path and felt as though we drove 10 miles through the woods (although it’s actually only a half mile off the road). I found that both the work of Cedar Cross and the people involved to be invitational for me. This has been a way for me to draw closer to God. 
 



Mission of Cedar Cross: Rest, Reflection, and Renewal

We provide overnight and day-retreat space for small groups (up to 16 participants) and individual retreatants. Individuals, couples, and friends are invited to stay in Heron’s Nest, which is a two-bedroom cottage, or in one of the three suites of the Lodge. For more information, please contact the coordinator, Jimmy Allen, at 919-729-2586, or at cedarcrossregistrar@gmail.com. More information is available on our web site: cedarcrossretreat.info. We look forward to hosting you.
 

Mission Group members who oversee the ministry of Cedar Cross
Butch Grove, Vickie Grove, Mac Hulslander, Margaret Hilpert, John Hilpert, Lillie Jones, Ginger Allen, and Jimmy Allen

Specific roles at Cedar Cross
John Hilpert and Margaret Hilpert, founders and back-up hosts
Jimmy Allen, coordinator
Lillie Jones, gleaner
Boomer Alston, caretaker for outdoor spaces
Lori Litton, bookkeeper
Linda Lamb, caterer

Covenant Community Church supports this retreat center through the Cedar Cross Mission Group.  We are a small ecumenical church offering a participatory form of worship that invites lively involvement by all members. We worship Sunday afternoons in Raleigh at the Community United Church of Christ (corner of Wade Avenue and Dixie Trail). During the pandemic the community gathers virtually.

The mission group, which is a subset of the Covenant Community membership, typically meets monthly at the retreat center for a day of work, prayer, play, planning, and being with friends.

Giving
We are grateful to all who support the ministry of Cedar Cross Retreat Center. If you believe in providing a place for people to experience rest, reflection, and renewal, please consider giving a donation.

You can give securely online at www.cedarcrossretreat.info/donate/ or click on the donate button below. Or send a check to Cedar Cross Retreat Center, 150 Cedar Cross Way, Louisburg, NC 27549. 
 

Donate

Cedar Cross on Facebook

Cedar Cross Website

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Light Still Shines

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The Light Still Shines

Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote, “Earth’s crammed with heaven, And every common bush afire with God; But only he who sees takes off his shoes … “

This is a time that is ripe for us to figuratively “take off our shoes” as we become more aware of systemic racism and adjust to life in a pandemic. Cedar Cross Retreat Center continues to be a place where people can rest and reflect in the hope and expectation of being renewed. 

During the pandemic, we are taking measures to still be able to welcome retreatants by disinfecting our guest facilities after each retreatant’s stay.  If you want to schedule a time for retreat, please click on the link below or send an email to cedarcrossregistrar@gmail.com. 

In the photos, the common, and, yet, beautiful and wild, oxeye daisies speckle the New Field at Cedar Cross as they reach toward the afternoon sun, and succulents growing in the rock terrace on the South Hillside show their spring blossoms.
 

Words from a retreatant …

“Thank you. Thank you, Covenant Church, for providing this beautiful place for rest and renewal! Immaculately maintained, aesthetically engaging, with so many beautiful, whimsical paths to explore — God bless you all! Covid-19 was underway unbeknownst to us, when I was here last December. I came this time with a heavy heart, with many fears. I leave now, with a renewed sense of the grace of God, and a heart that, by that grace, now sings, ‘Trust’ and ‘Courage.’ Until next time.”

A word about work at Cedar Cross

We all keep upgrading Cedar Cross during this pause, either doing needed maintenance, or allowing creativity to emerge. Granite rocks disturbed from millennial sleep by mule-pulled plow a century and a half ago were thrown into dozens of piles to allow farming. Leaves, dirt and moss provided blankets for renewed sleep.

For the last 45 years, a few of us have been resurrecting many rocks to create low walls, focal points, and reflection spaces. Now, younger pairs of hands are moving hundreds more to express new visions provided by the same Spirit.

From the beauty of simple food to nourish bodies, rock is now moving to allow beauty to nourish souls. 
 

— John Hilpert, a founder of Cedar Cross and the forest steward

A view from the trail

A beam of sunlight illuminates a leaf on this tulip poplar near a new trail being developed at Cedar Cross. Among the four miles of trails, retreatants can see more than 50 species of trees. The most common, in addition to the tulip poplar, are maple, oaks (many kinds), pines, sweet gum, wild cherry, hickory (many kinds), dogwood, holly, cedar, beech, black gum, and sourwood.

We seek to nurture a healthy forest. Here is an excerpt from Eco Trail Guide written by John Hilpert: “You may see some big trees with light green tape on them, and two horizontal cuts about an inch into the bark and outer layer (called cambium).  All the nutrients of the tree go up through this layer, so by cutting it, the tree slowly dies.  Why would we do that?  Simply, there are too many large “canopy” trees in a small space, and cutting down one of the least healthy could likely destroy many other trees as it fell.

“But as the tree dies slowly, birds, including woodpeckers, start to hunt for insects by digging holes in the bark.  Then other birds, including owls, dig out cavities or holes in the rotting wood for homes. By the way, trees flagged with blue tape are to be cut out and put in the gulleys; red tape means to save for firewood.”
 

Dawning of Life
The numerous sprigs of running cedar
point toward a morning sky,
looking past the arms of trees open wide
to a black bird flowing above.
The bird carries a stick for a spring nest,
preparing for the dawning of life.
 
–This poem was written by Jimmy Allen during A Guided Day Apart at Cedar Cross.

If you have written a poem, short story, or reflection while you were at Cedar Cross, or if the poem, short story, or reflection is about the retreat center, we’d love for you to share it with us. You can make a submission to the coordinator at cedarcrossregistrar@gmail.com.

A virtual walk … on the Middle Trail

We are trying something new for friends of Cedar Cross. As a way to give you a taste of the retreat center, we are going to offer short videos that we hope are meaningful for you. In this edition, you can join in a walk on the Middle Trail during a spring rain. To take the virtual walk, just click on this link, which will take you to our web site: https://www.cedarcrossretreat.info/2020/06/16/walk-with-me-on-the-middle-trail-to-the-south-hillside/
 

Click here to contact us and schedule your next retreat

Getting to know the Mission Group of Cedar Cross 

Note: We consider everyone who participates in a retreat here, prays for this ministry, volunteers to help, and/or offers financial support to be a part of Cedar Cross Retreat Center. In addition to the hundreds who are part of the Cedar Cross community, we have a Mission Group that oversees the ministry. This section is intended to give us all a little insight about these folks. The names of Mission Group members is below in the masthead.

In this edition of Journeys, Butch Grove responds to the prompt:  Please tell us a favorite experience at Cedar Cross.

Butch Grove, right, talks with Mac Hulslander about the moss garden
being developed at Cedar Cross Retreat Center. Below, he writes about the wedding arch that is pictured above. The arch is on the Village Green near the goldfish pond. 

Butch Grove

My favorite memory and experience at Cedar Cross has to be when in 2003, Vickie and I got married on the Village Green, next to the goldfish pool. 

Although Cedar Cross was never intended as a wedding venue, the Mission Group made an exception since Vickie and I had been active members for years.  Neither Vickie nor I could imagine a more fitting place to bring together our faith community and the blending of our two families. 

The only enhancement we made to the natural beauty of Cedar Cross in preparation of sharing our vows was to erect a simple cedar archway adorned with a stained glass symbol of Cedar Cross given to us by the Mission Group as wedding gift. 

That cedar arch has become affectionately known as the wedding arch, and every time I see it I think back to that special day. 
 

Mission of Cedar Cross: Rest, Reflection, and Renewal

We provide overnight and day-retreat space for small groups (up to 16 participants) and individual retreatants. Individuals, couples, and friends are invited to stay in Heron’s Nest, which is a two-bedroom cottage, or in one of the three suites of the Lodge. For more information, please contact the coordinator, Jimmy Allen, at 919-729-2586, or at cedarcrossregistrar@gmail.com. More information is available on our web site: cedarcrossretreat.info. We look forward to hosting you.
 

Mission Group members who oversee the ministry of Cedar Cross
Butch Grove, Vickie Grove, Mac Hulslander, Margaret Hilpert, John Hilpert, Lillie Jones, Ginger Allen, and Jimmy Allen

Specific roles at Cedar Cross
John Hilpert and Margaret Hilpert, founders and back-up hosts
Jimmy Allen, coordinator
Lillie Jones, gleaner
Rachel Allen, caretaker for indoor spaces
David Jerose, caretaker for outdoor spaces
Boomer Alston, caretaker for outdoor spaces
Lori Litton, bookkeeper
Linda Lamb, caterer

Covenant Community Church supports this retreat center through the Cedar Cross Mission Group.  We are a small ecumenical church offering a participatory form of worship that invites lively involvement by all members. We worship Sunday afternoons in Raleigh at the Community United Church of Christ (corner of Wade Avenue and Dixie Trail). During the pandemic the community gathers virtually.

The mission group, which is a subset of the Covenant Community membership, typically meets monthly at the retreat center for a day of work, prayer, play, planning, and being with friends.

Giving
We are grateful to all who support the ministry of Cedar Cross Retreat Center. If you believe in providing a place for people to experience rest, reflection, and renewal, please consider giving a donation.

You can give securely online at www.cedarcrossretreat.info/donate/ or click on the donate button below. Or send a check to Cedar Cross Retreat Center, 150 Cedar Cross Way, Louisburg, NC 27549. 
 

Donate

Cedar Cross on Facebook

Cedar Cross Website

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We are living and dying at the same time.

Every time I go home from a day in the garden, my body reminds me that I’m not a spring chicken anymore.

Hauling rocks, shoveling dirt to and fro, crawling around on my knees, digging and yanking roots, lifting a rock in and out of its chosen placement until I can form the hole to fit it perfectly — all of this is hard work. Good, old-fashioned, hard work.

And it’s just what I needed.

When the pandemic struck with all the subsequent repercussions, it didn’t take long for me to realize that I was grieving. …Grieving the staggering forthcoming loss of life, grieving the fragile nature of our society’s compassion for others, grieving the reality of elevated risk for so many people I love, and grieving the loss of the business revenue I had worked so hard to secure for our family. The grief became so overwhelming that I needed a place to work it out. I needed a constructive way to haul and shovel and crawl and dig and yank that grief out of my body.

Many nights I’d lie in bed after a day with the rocks and try to find a muscle that didn’t hurt. I pushed myself sore many times, and turns out it was the best remedy I could find. The grief became clarity, and the time in the garden helped to create a deep sense of spaciousness within me as I prepare for the days to come.

The truth is that the world is complicated. Life is messy, and so is death. People worldwide are dying daily from COVID-19. And other people are trying to figure out how to get back to work. We are living, and we are dying; we are dying, and we are living. Both are true, at the same time.

What’s also true is that we have an amazing opportunity right now to synthesize the best of our world pre-pandemic with all the lessons we’ve learned about ourselves and our world during the pandemic into a new “third way” of life post-pandemic.

It’s been longer than six weeks since I began working with the garden. I am finally beginning to feel more centered and ready to discern moving forward with my business. Things will be changing, and I’m still listening to learn the details of the best way forward. Yet one of the things I know for sure is that the Sunny Garden and I will be pals for a long time to come.

Ginger in the Sunny Garden, mid-April 2020
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Learning the Lingo

I could launch into a litany of words and phrases specific to goldsmithing that would not make a lot of sense to a non-smith.

No copper tongs in the pickle.

The girdle is uneven.

It’s time to sharpen the graver.

Pour the ingot through the flame.

Bleed the line.

I could continue, but I’ll spare you. The point is that any discipline or avocation is going to have its own vernacular. I’m learning the lingo of stone masonry.

Chinking helps to set.

The wall needs a good batter.

Two on one. One on two.

I found a book in the Cedar Cross library called Building Stone Walls by John Vivian.

I also managed to get another handy volume called Stonework by Peter McHoy.

As any good autodidact would, I’m finding it helpful to read/listen to several different perspectives and then engage each area somewhat methodically, taking note of what works and what doesn’t. Sometimes I don’t know what doesn’t work until it’s done and I notice that the drainage is off in a heavy rain, or that a wobble develops after some repeated walking.

So there are a few areas that I plan to revisit and improve. But for now I’m enjoying moving forward with what’s next. With the exception of a few tweaks to come, I have completed all the walkways at the main garden entrance.

Up next is The Pocket.

But first, let’s pause and celebrate this milestone!

Three steps in
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Celebrating a milestone

Emerging from deep within me late yesterday, a hallelujah-style whoooop-yee-ha rung in the trees around the Sunny Garden.

It was a glorious moment!

I set the last stone in that tricky, curvy, slope-y section of the path that I’ve been working on for the last three weeks. I gathered up my tools, grabbed my water bottle, and stretched my back. As I swallowed, I looked down along those stones and realized that I had reached a milestone. (Pun intended.)

Hallelujah!

Weeks ago when I assisted Mac in the Moss Garden, we were wrapping up our work for the day when he invited me to take a stone next to him.

We sat there and observed the space where we’d been on our knees most of the day. Mostly we sat together in silence, with just a few thoughts shared aloud between us. It was a precious reminder for me. A holy pause.

Pause speaks to the very essence of Cedar Cross and why it exists. The spaciousness of respite gives nourishment and clarity to the soul. It balances launching with holding, studying with observing, doing with being.

Jimmy captured this moment of Mac and me pausing to reflect on our work for the day.

So, after my big hallelujah moment last evening, I sat down just outside the space and reflected on the pathway, the work, the time, and the context. Putting together these hard pieces of earth is somehow leading me toward new truths about the hard pieces of life in this world. Maybe. Or maybe I’m just building a pathway.

A mile of stones. A milestone.